**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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