jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
