Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
