She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
