have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
