yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
