im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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