And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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