just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize