the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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