Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You don't make any sense
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If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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