Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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