ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
this hospital has no fireball
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
