I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
