Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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