There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
