Grow some girl-balls and come out already
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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