Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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