You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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