U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
