i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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