I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
