I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
