I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
