dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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