Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
