I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
