i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
