That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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