Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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