yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
