I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
