North Korea, Best Korea!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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