you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
