Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why didn't you poke me back
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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