Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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