put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
