It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
