I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
