Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
