Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
