I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
