I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize