HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
