How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
