i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
