I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
