Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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