Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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