Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
