I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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