If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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