How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
