I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is wine microwaveable?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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